I think I am ready….

to talk about me and what has happened. Most of you know that things with me haven’t been right since November 2009. On the 24th November 2009 the love of my life up and walked out on me and my boys. Ever since that day things haven’t been good.  Over the last 5 months I haven’t been in a good space and some days have seen me really low, lost, scared, tired etc.

I have been hiding under a rock and only now finding my way out from under it. Things are still sooooo very hard and everything hurts but the boys and myself are getting there. Makes things hard when my ex husband doesn’t care about his boys and Neil wants to move to Auckland to be with his new girlfriend and leave me to bring up Noah on my own. But we are taking one day at a time. I need to make time for me but that is hard when your doing it on your own. 

I have started scrapping again and that feels great but going through photos with Neil in them is hard. I was sitting one night going through them and Noah spots a photo of Neil and he wouldn’t let it go and sat on my knee crying his little heart out….what do you do?

At the moment I seem to be doing alot for everyone else and that is doing my head in but I don’t know what to do for me. I have no idea!  My friends and family have been fab and are there for me if I need it (and I need it).

I went out and got myself a job doing 15 hours a week and then had to turn it down. As I am on the DPB (which I hate so much) 😦 and when you start working they take money off you and by the time they did that and child care costs I would be working for $3 a week. Not worth it. Wouldn’t you think WINZ would make it easy for you to go out and get a job…BUT NO!!!

Everything sucks right about now and life isn’t pretty but one step at a time.

 

Thought I would share some layouts I have done using kits by Scrappin’ Patch.

This layout just needs a title.

And this one is a scraplift from a layout that Scrappin’ Patch had on their wall. Loved it, had to scrap it.

 

Well better go, have a great weekend

 

Tanya Leigh

 

 

 

 

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Comments on: "I think I am ready…." (6)

  1. Sorry to hear you have been having a very rough time of it. No one deserves all that stress and heartache, I hope things start to get brighter soon! I’m glad you have found some time and energy to scrap, your layouts are lovely. Take care 🙂

  2. ((HUGS)), Tanya. You know where I stand on all of this, and that I’m still here for you if you need to vent. Thinking of you lots and hoping that there are many happy days in the future. It’s a real shame that you had to turn down the job, I think it’s wrong that the government penalises people who really try to make things better for themselves – as often the situations they are in have been not of their own choice.
    Hang in there! xx

  3. Im sorry to hear of the hard time you have been having Tanya. i also think it sucks that WINZ makes it so hard for people on the DPB, Im lucky in that i have found work but dont have to cost of childcare coming from that. Hope things get better for you and great that you are getting back into scrapbooking again

  4. Hugs Tanya, I know its hard on your own (being a single mum myself) but I know you can do this and it sounds like you have wonderful family and friends around you to help and support you when you need it…..That sucks bout the job, and yes been there done that with WINZ and i too don’t understand why they make it so hard for people to go out and get a job unfair….lvoign your scrapbooking pages…..more hugs….Tanya 🙂

  5. fifiscrapz said:

    Sorry to hear about what has happened – great you have family to support you and make sure you take on offers for help – it is hard to do and make time for you as well even if you have to say no to someone else and I know that is hard too. Scrapping is a great me time thing and using kits and scraplifting is a great idea when life has been hard and Thank you for scraplifting my layout (glad you loved it) – your layout looks gorgeous and the other layouts are awesome

  6. It was lovely to see your comment on the DCM – we’ve missed you being around. So very sorry to hear about the horrible time you’ve been having – you know where we are if you need us…
    Through it all though, your talent still shines, as is clear from these fab LOs
    xxx

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